3rd May, 2011

Don't worry guys, I made sure to keep my notes this time. You'll never again have to deal with me stumbling my way through half a dozen short paragraphs without any reference material.

So this week, it started off promisingly - There was
a BRAND NEW MENU that promised exotic treats.

 I can't wait to visit a free range burrito farm. All those burritos roaming about wherever they wish, unhindered by cages or fences...it's such a beautiful thought.

Sadly, the next chunk of the experience was less inspiring. The wait staff brought out some beer we didn't order, left it on our table, and then came back a few minutes later to fetch it. I'm not sure whether they'd just run out of space on the bar or whether they were insulted we hadn't touched our gifts, but they certainly didn't bring any more over.

This week was a first: When the dip came out, it was incredibly cold. Not just room-temperature cold, but 'must have been in the fridge for a few hours' cold. We mentioned it to the waitress, who took it away...and stayed away.

15 minutes later, she came back. It wasn't just laziness, they'd been microwaving the cheese the entire time it was gone - It was so hot, we couldn't get near it, and had to make do with admiring it from afar.

Once it was a tad less volcanic, the dip turned out to be decent. There was plenty of spice to make up for the lack of flavour, and any lack of thickness was due to the sheer heat they put it through. The chips were crisp and edible, with a few exceptions:

The chip on the right is a normal cornchip size. The one on the left is a behemoth hybrid goliath chip. The ones below are there to sit in the foreground and make the perspective confusing for the viewer.
From the pic below, the chip-dip balance was also pretty good.

In Summary:
Consistency: Probably about average, the temperature varied too much to be sure.
Spiciness: Pretty goddamn spicy.
Appearance: Type 3 bowl, and it looks quite picturesque in that second pic.
Temperature: Freezing cold, then boiling hot. Like Mercury. (The planet. Or the metal if you treat it that way, I guess.)
Flavour: I have nothing written down about the flavour. I'm pretty sure it was bland-ish but not terrible.
Chips: Crisp and delicious, with occasional mutants.
Chip-to-dip-balance: Pretty accurate, it seems.

12th April 2011

Much like Bacon Sandwich's previous post, this one is late due to supreme laziness. Unlike Bacon Sandwich, I do have brief notes from this particular cheese outing, but I do not remember what each picture was meant to illustrate. So I'm just going to make up the captions .

Cheese! Man, look at the skin on that sucker.

The chef obviously had issues with aiming the spray of chilli powder.

Seriously, that skin is like a shell.

Pretty sure the cheese skin could have been used as a pseudo-chip to scoop up more cheese.

That ratio doesn't look promising.

I do remember what this picture was for, it was meant to show how obscenely oily the chips were. The picture kinda failed to show that, but that's ok, because you have this helpful caption to explain it all.

I obviously felt that a shot of some extremely watery sour cream was appropriate.

ONTO THE SUMMARY FOR WHICH I GENUINELY HAVE NOTES FOR

Consistency: I wrote "mild". What the fuck did I mean?
Spiciness: My notes say "spicyu". I can only hope that this wasn't a typo and was in fact a reference to a new spice sensation that makes me think I am Japanese.
Appearance: Type 2 bowl, fail. Also, chef had poor aim with chilli powder. How hard is it to get chilli powder on top of cheese?
Temperature: I wrote "tepid". This was probably very disappointing at the time.
Flavour: I have "cream cheesey". Going by the pictures, it looks like a cream cheese pudding rather than cheese dip.
Chips: Oily and stale.
Chip-to-dip-balance: Shithouse. I didn't write any notes to this effect, but there was a Type 2 bowl and dip of "mild" consistency, it's pretty much a given that there won't be enough dip for chips.

We will endeavour to be a little bit more up to date with our postings this week, so that we don't disappoint the 2.5 readers we have.

29th March 2011

So, I'm a bit behind. This is due to extreme laziness and the fact I lost my notes, so I have no idea what the meal was like. Therefore, WE WILL RECONSTRUCT THE MEAL FROM PHOTOS ALONE. This is something never before attempted in the Cheese Dip Blogging Community, so hold onto your pants.

A good start - a type 1 bowl, for a change. it definitely looks like cheese in that bowl, and the red stuff on top could well be spice. There are two colours of chips, which is a nice multicultural touch. We've put out the tealight as it represents a fire hazard, a risk Santa Fe forces you to take every time you dine.

Actually, I'm kind of intrigued by the patterns the cheese skin and the spice are making there. Like tectonic plates, it was presumably a cohesive whole when it first formed and has been steadily fracturing, drifting and reforming since then. I theorise that if we left it for a few hours we'd start to get tiny mountain ranges and canyons forming composed entirely of spicy cheese.

It looks like I was on the right track, the skin came off in one giant lump. I'd have loved to try some (maybe I did? Is that my hand?), but cheese skin isn't a food to share.
Sidenote: In the second picture, the cheese skin looks like a swan to me. It should look like a swan to you too.

And here we have the end. The chip to dip ration wasn't horrible, but wasn't quite perfect. It looks like the cheese was on the thin side, or else we were just pouring it over the table with wild abandon.

So on to the very accurate summary:
Consistency: Quite thin, it was hard to keep it on the chips
Spiciness: there are visible lumps of spice, but was it only on the surface?
Appearance: Type 1. awesome.
Temperature: probably warmish. it often is.
Flavour: Oh...about average.
Chips: Two different colours!
Chip-to-dip-balance: Reasonably accurate, I'll give them that.